Insomnia – letters...

My dear Angus,
I have been anxious to tell you about the latest events of my tedious life. However they are far from being something thrilling and have insistently annoyed me with their ceaseless presence.
I would like to overcome them or just put them behind but it seems to me this duty will not be so easy.
I have been deeply tormented with old memories which always let me down showing me
that they still can hurt me.
Since I started to think over what were my true desires, expectations and fears before life, I have found myself even more confused.
I need to know what is the right way to follow and what matters I must take into account.
Oh my friend, I really need a fair choice, something to bring me comfort, make me face my problems boldly and after all give me peace.
But would it be reachable or this wish is nothing more than a forbidden dream?
Can I aspirate happiness or this right belongs only to the blessed ones?
That's the point to be cleared up.
I know I've got to close my eyes to all those terrible moments.
I've got to get out of this grudge which consumes me day by day.
But how could I ignore something that pursues me each second of my existence?
How could I aim at a sparkling future whether the shadows of my past keep blinding me with an implacable persistence?
Answer me please!
Take me away from here, Angus!
Take me to anywhere!To any place where these thoughts cannot affect me no more and where I can find such a desired redemption.
07/12/2008
written by Akma a friend of mine
http://akmasixcor.blogspot.com/

Dear G. since we met I have never seen you so down. It doesn’t suit you well. Your blue eyes and red cheeks deserve a smile on your face but never tears. Your bad memories are not stronger than you. Where is that strong woman who used to fight for her rights and claim to see them put in practice? When we were just teenagers we used to have many dreams and believe in them until the last possible moment, but when things went wrong we used to hold each other and say that if the world explodes at least we would have each other. We were dreamers and it made us survive those difficult days. But now we have to face the truth and it is not as easy as to dream…I know this. But I also know that you can overcome these bad feelings and turn to be my sweet and happy G. again. What you are looking for is close to you, more than you can imagine. Open your eyes! Stop looking just inside you and look around you. You will notice that you have many people who care about you and want to help you. Keep in mind that you will always count on me…I will be your friend forever. Wherever you go I will be with you whether in person or in your memories. But I will never let you alone in the dark. I will be the star that will enlighten your way in darkness and lead you to heaven…yours Angus.

28/12/2008
Angus' answer written by Sandy
http://sandy-justthebest.blogspot.com/

Angus,
if you could at least imagine every terrible moment I've gone through,
you'd never send me such a hopeful answer!
I know that those days were magic but they have gone!
It's been only a sweet past that is unable to bring me back
all those innocent expectations about life I used to have.
I can't just ignore the nightmare I've lived and
waste my time dreaming away like a child with no worries.
The problems don't disappear just because you're not willing to face them.
Maybe you won't figure out my words very well,
maybe they will make no sense to you
since you've belonged to a world totally different from mine.
You were given a choice, Angus!
You grew up having your family and friends around,
living each step of your life naturally.
But how about me?
Well, I didn't have the same luck.
And you always knew that.
Oh Christ!
Sorry if I made you feel upset saying it all
but I needed to pour my heart out
and you were the most reliable person whom I could trust in.
Thanks for your care!
Sincerely, Genevieve
08/01/2009
written by Akma a friend of mine
http://akmasixcor.blogspot.com/

My darling Genevieve,
life is not easy and you know this very well.
How can you talk about my life like this?You know I have been beside you all these years.
Your suffering is my suffering.
If I could do anything to change your life and prevent you from all these problems, you know I would do it. But it's impossible.
We can't change your past but you can work in present to make a better future.You can do it my sweetheart.
You are stronger than you think.
Oh Genevieve... If if you could look inside my heart...If you could imagine how I feel...My life has no meaning without your smile.I wanna see happiness shinning on your face again.Don't tell me that I don't want to face the problems cause the truth is in front of you and you don't see it.I am by your side since we were children.We grew up together.And you have never figured out how I love you.I am your friend and I will be with you forever but...Have you ever thought about me as a man?Have you ever cared about my feelings in relation to you?No .
Cause you were very busy feeling pity for yourself.
Life is not like this my love.
Yes, my love!That's what you represent to me .
Love of my life!I tried to hide my feelings expecting that one day you could look inside my eyes and realize that I love you since the first time I saw you.Do you remember?You were walking on the street without shoes , calling your mother cause you were lost and I took your hand and told you:." don't care!I am with you " It was the beginning of our story.Since then we have never separated.
So stop claiming about your life and start enjoying what life has given to you.My love for you.I hope you understand my words and reply me as soon as possible.
Kisses me my lovely Genevieve!
15/02/2009
Written by Sandy
http://sandy-justthebest.blogspot.com/